he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
