Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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