im six kinds of drunk right now
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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