I wanna passion pit in your ass
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can I color on your dick again?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
