Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
DRUNK COOKIES
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