K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
