Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The struggles of a small town man whore
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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