can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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