He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize