I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
