There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
