I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
