Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
