An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
