I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
