I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
