Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
