Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
