You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
