So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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