My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
