dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
