does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
