Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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