I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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