It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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