dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
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I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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