They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
