God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
