I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
