Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
