I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
