I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
