I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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