We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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