Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
