I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize