If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
