Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
