it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
