Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
