the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
