i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
