wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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