i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize