Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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