But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
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I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
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You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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