Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
