True but thats because hes a fetus.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
