I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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