i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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