# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
