i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize