am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
40s are totally the cure
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
