Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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