Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
