doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
