Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
