You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
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Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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