when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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