Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
