You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
