Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Congratulations! We have a period
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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