I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
